Alcoholism

Have you been affected by alcoholism in any way?  I have, it surrounds me.  My grandparents, my uncles and my father are, or have been, active alcoholics.

My grandmother has been attending AA meetings since I was 2 yrs old.  And she goes to 4 meetings a week or something crazy like that.  She started her recovering process after years of physically fighting with my grandfather and trying to get him help.  I am proud of her for spending so much time dedicating herself to a change.  After decades of drinking, my grandpa also quit.  But just about 5 yrs before he passed away.  My SIL is also a strong woman.  She almost lost her marriage and children, was literally falling apart, and she is now a recovering alcoholic.  She now helps others and encourages them.  She recently started taking classes to become a counselor to help those who have addiction struggles. It is so great to see the good side of what alcoholism can change you to be. 

I struggle with alcoholism myself.  It is truly hereditary.  I had heard that but thought I didnt have a problem.  The frist time I drank was at the young age of 14. I lived in a neighborhood where all the kids were doing it.  Drugs, sex, and alcohol...really.  I wanted to try this "fun" stuff.  I undoubtedly loved it.  But I didnt drink all the time...not right away at least. The older I got the more I drank.  I had my first daughter at 16 and I still drank when I could.  Of course, I thought it was all for fun.  After I turned 21 and I was a single mother of 2, I used the excuse that I deserved me time once a week.  So I went out and drank once a week. To make a long story short, It got to the point where I would black out everytime I drank.  I hated not knowing what I really did and relying on others to tell me. It took a long time but I slowly learned my cut off point.  Then I stopped drinking all the time and kept it for occasional practices only.  There are days when all I think about is a drink.  It makes me realize that even though I have not used this alcoholism to the point where I hurt others, even though I can control it better than most, I am still an alcoholic.  It is a struggle I think I will always face.  I guess being surrounded by alcoholism in its many forms, I will not allow it to take over me!

Then there are the moments that hurt you. Surrounding me are people I consider close loved ones. But they drink and then they say or do things that change your relationship with them.  If you tell them they either play victim, deny it, or make you feel like the guilty one.  What they are saying or doing can ruin families and they dont seem to understand that. My relationships with those that have hurt me will forever be changed.  I may be able to forgive them, because as a Christ follower I should and I will.  I may be able to pray for them or be nice to them. But it will never be the same.  The trust will never be there.  I really should pray about that trust but in some situations that trust can never be regained.  Unless it is solved between both parties and "fixed" whole heartedly with both parties.  Unfortunately in most cases, unless the person(s) get help for their alcoholism, The problem will remain.

How have you been affected?  Are you an alcoholic?  How do you deal with it?