Where have I been you ask? Busy with my life! School, competitions, sick kids, housecleaning, and the never ending piles of laundry! I have written the start of a few blogs and never finished them. I have managed to get to 144 lbs and maintain. I really need to get motivated to try harder to exercise...but we all know how that gets. I am not eating uber healthy but I am making wise food choices and watching what I eat.
Today we are enjoying our first snow of the season. If it is snowing before Thanksgiving we will likely see more this year. Which is fine in my book. As long as its not like the great snow of 2008! While it was exciting to have that much snow and see the blizzard like conditions and be "stuck" for 2 weeks, our area is not equipped for such a thing and the roads were horrible!!!
With 4 kids sickness seems inevitable and it is also seeming to be a never ending story around here. The coughing is so gross and is horrible this yr. So far all the kids have had it now. 2 have had viral bronchitis, 1 just a really long cough, 1 with a sinus infection, and now a feverish few days are added to the mix! Ikes, can it get any worse??? This is 2 months so far. And lets not talk about the diarrhea that accompanies antibiotics...icky. So that's the "exciting" run down of our lives over here.
Whats on my mind has been a heck of a lot. Not so great either. I get in these modes where I am somewhat depressed. I am not sure if its the weather or the staying home so long without work. Which I totally love staying home. I feel like the manager of my own company, no boss no ridiculous coworkers, no leaving the house...which also means many pj days =). I have been thinking a lot, which is never good, of all the relationships in my life. I am struggling with a lot of it. My marriage is pretty great, yeah, we have some little issues but nothing I haven't been able to handle. I have a very small handful of friends I don't seem to be having issues with either. In fact I recently made up with one. WE had a falling out a few years back and let me tell you it is a great feeling to make up with a friend! So, with that being said, why are there people that act like your best friend and then suddenly they aren't??? I am not talking about the few relationships you have where no matter where you are in life you can pick up the phone and it was like old times. I am talking about people you shared everything with did things with and the second one thing changes they disappear. With no explanation and no turning back. This happened when I married my husband. I was friends with a huge group of people at my job. I had shared many struggles with them. The second I was happy they slowly started not inviting me anywhere, had secrets I was not allowed in on, and it hurt. I have done this to a few people before but I feel for a good cause. These people I abandoned were people who never took any good advice, never grew up, or went a completely different path than me. They chose to do things that I believe are wrong and therefore was not going to continue to allow them to pressure me or tempt me. So I play with that idea but finally in my things were good I was happy and they were not there for me. I cant seem to let go of it no matter how hard I try. Or how about the people that hurt me the most in my life. I cant seem to let go of that either. Sometimes I don't think about it at all. But when I see or hear that their lives have gone on and they seem to have no remorse it hurts just as bad.
One of these people in particular is the father of my daughter. He has seen her 4 times in her entire life. He is into drugs and been in and out of prison and is totally disgusting. He also beat the crap out of me. He didn't even want her in the first place. I have no desire to have him in her life. I like things the way they are. But, she deals with issues of abandonment and hurt. She will always grow up knowing that someone cared so little for a part of himself that he hurt her. I recently found out that he has a son and a girlfriend he claims to love. And it hurts. How can I let that go? He is living life like he didn't do anything wrong, basically started over and is hurting us in the process. Yes, I know that I am letting him "win" if I feel hurt but I can just ignore it when i look into his face everyday. She looks like him and she even acts like him. I know I need to let go and let God, but its hard.
And how about those parents? I don't truly understand mine at all. I struggle with trying to honor them and still keep boundaries. I have a lot of anger built up. I still get hurtful words from them. And its true what they say...actions speak louder than words. There are things that have been done that hurt. I fully believe that besides my uncle I am the only one in my family that craves a close family. I got anything but. Whats sad is I have 9 uncles some grandparents and a few cousins and a handful of aunts...that's pretty huge not to be closer! And when those dragging feelings set in I struggle with the hurt. I dont know if I will ever fully get over this.
So with all that being said, does anyone know a little hypnotism to make me forget? =) It does feel good to write it down. Other than that life is truly good. I am thankful for a lot. Here are some things I am thankful for that include those I have been hurt by. Its good to remember the good not the bad, right?
1. I am thankful for my daughter. Without her I might have died from a drug overdose. She makes our world crazy but without her we would be bored.
3. I am thankful my mom dragged me to WA, I met my husband here. And I have a whole lotta love from him. I also gained a bigger closer family and an adorable son.
4. Facebook. I know silly right? But I have reconnected with many of my uncles and aunts and cousins. And its about the only time my sister will "talk" to me.
5. For my hurtful past. Without it I wouldn't be able to protect my kids and teach them what I have learned. I wouldn't appreciate my husband as much as I do. And I wouldn't be where I am today.
So thank you Willie, for my beautiful daughter. You are missing out. You don't get to hear her sing or play piano, you don't get to see her be a good big sister, and you don't get her hugs. But I do.
Thank you to everyone who hurt me. I have a greater appreciation for caring and loving people.
Thanks to my parents for dragging me as far away from family as possible so that I know how important it is to surround my children with their step dads family so they get to enjoy that part in life. Thanks for the insensitivity to me and my feelings so that I may find my MIL incredibly wonderful and have great conversations with someone so sweet. Most people don't like theirs and I love mine!!
Thank you to all the men who hurt me. I must say that going through all that was truly a little slice of hell, but I now have my own slice of heaven right here on earth. I appreciate even the smallest things that my husband does because of it.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Partial Brain Function
Well, I did not get to post my 2nd part to my last post. I will soon. I was having computer issues and then lost my train of thought. It is Friday and as promised here is my weight, 146... I did not maintain my loss from last week. I know that I am giving it the best I can right now. I have a busy schedule and a tight budget for groceries that does not really permit me to go completely and uberly healthy. Basically I am maintaining my weight with my diet. But I have children and i will not force them to eat uber healthy. Our diet is not bad and I am happy with it.
I want to share with you a recipe that I used tonight. Its delicious.
Turkey Chili Burgers
1lb ground turkey
1 cup cooked or canned black beans
half an onion
1 jalapeno
however much garlic you want
2 tbs chili powder
1 tbs thyme
1/2 tbs cumin
saute onion till soft add chopped jalapeno, garlic and cumin
after that is done add to the beans and mush mush mush
next, add seasonings and turkey and mix well
shape into patties and broil
make sure you cook both sides
enjoy with a whole wheat bun some spinach and salsa is recommended (but I don't use it)
I paired it with a broccoli salad recipe I got from a friend.
half an apple peeled and chopped into small cubes
1/4 cup of raisins
1/4 onion chopped (optional)
1 broccoli head
next mix 1.5 tbs mayo with 1.5 tbs orange juice dab of salt and pepper
throw this in and mix
This dinner is quick and healthy and delicious. Love it!
Here are a few more goals
11. Wake up 3 times a week at 530 am to get my exercise on.
12. Only get on the computer once a day unless absolutely necessary. (i usually jump on when I have a free minute, and then do nothing on it but check facebook or email)
13. Read one book a month
Only 3 this time, I am losing my concentration. I always think of more and I have more written down I just forget to bring them with me to the computer.
I want to share with you a recipe that I used tonight. Its delicious.
Turkey Chili Burgers
1lb ground turkey
1 cup cooked or canned black beans
half an onion
1 jalapeno
however much garlic you want
2 tbs chili powder
1 tbs thyme
1/2 tbs cumin
saute onion till soft add chopped jalapeno, garlic and cumin
after that is done add to the beans and mush mush mush
next, add seasonings and turkey and mix well
shape into patties and broil
make sure you cook both sides
enjoy with a whole wheat bun some spinach and salsa is recommended (but I don't use it)
I paired it with a broccoli salad recipe I got from a friend.
half an apple peeled and chopped into small cubes
1/4 cup of raisins
1/4 onion chopped (optional)
1 broccoli head
next mix 1.5 tbs mayo with 1.5 tbs orange juice dab of salt and pepper
throw this in and mix
This dinner is quick and healthy and delicious. Love it!
Here are a few more goals
11. Wake up 3 times a week at 530 am to get my exercise on.
12. Only get on the computer once a day unless absolutely necessary. (i usually jump on when I have a free minute, and then do nothing on it but check facebook or email)
13. Read one book a month
Only 3 this time, I am losing my concentration. I always think of more and I have more written down I just forget to bring them with me to the computer.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Living the Bible Way part 1
I grew up in the UPC, United Pentecostal Church. I remember growing up was being uncomfortable in my stockings and dresses and shoes. I remember rules but no explanation except "the bible says". I dont know if thats just how it used to be in this denomination, just the string of churches, or with my parents. But I do know that God stuck with me. I always knew that God was the only way for me. But when my parents divorced and backslid...I followed. Of course I did, I was a new teenager. With no Godly direction and all the influence of the world in my face, God was far behind in my mind. He was actually in front of me the whole time and it just took a while to see it.
The neightbor kids were "cool". They skipped school, they drank, smoked and had sex. I wanted to try everything they did. 6 mths of this and I got pregnant. I was 15. I wish I would have stopped and smelled the roses that God was sending me then. I lost majority of my friends and the only ones I seemed to make were Christian girls. I occasionally went to a youth group. I still believed and thought that was enough. But I let it get to me again. Love was the influence. I truly, to this day admit, I was in love. But he fell in love with money and fun. The higher he got the more I got hurt. The infidelity, the abuse, and the drugs were a bad nightmare for me. When he was home and high I got high with him, in hopes that he would love me back. I finally got the guts to call it quits after getting pregnant with my 2nd daughter. But I was in search for love.
I still never took the whole opportunity to go after God even when he was right in my face. I started going to church with a friend who never seemed to give up on me. But at that time I felt like the love of a real man would serve me better. I was determined to figure it out on my own. Big mistake.
Soon I was pregnant with a 3rd and hopeful. When she was about a yr old I decided it was time to go back to church. It was then that I realized you have to search for God and he will show you exactly who he is. But I was miserable. And boy I had no idea what was about to happen. I wont go into detail but God went back on the back burner and life went haywire. Depressed and feeling alone I just stopped God. But truth be told I always knew he was still there. I struggled with things in my past feeling as though God would never send me to heaven.
During all this I had the opportunity to go to the D.C area. We had some old family friends there and their daughter was getting married. They are pastors. One day the pastor sat me down and said I have a word from God. He read Psalms 149:4. He translated it to me that God doesnt care what it is that I think will never be forgiven for. He has forgiven me. WOW!!! Powerful. For a few weeks I was on air. But I slowly in what I feel was the lowest point in my life, fell back into the arms of the devil.
I finally got to move forward with my life and with that came a new attitude. Things slowly started looking better for me, even when most of what was happening around me wasnt going well. I started praying and reading my bible. I started inserting church a little more and then finally after getting married and having another baby, I got back into church. I have learned that its not about religion and rituals. Its about a relationship with God, its about devouring the word for yourself. I am soaking it in. I am striving to learn all I can. I am hungry to learn more each day. And tomorrow I will share my thoughts, confusions, joys, and triumphs.
The neightbor kids were "cool". They skipped school, they drank, smoked and had sex. I wanted to try everything they did. 6 mths of this and I got pregnant. I was 15. I wish I would have stopped and smelled the roses that God was sending me then. I lost majority of my friends and the only ones I seemed to make were Christian girls. I occasionally went to a youth group. I still believed and thought that was enough. But I let it get to me again. Love was the influence. I truly, to this day admit, I was in love. But he fell in love with money and fun. The higher he got the more I got hurt. The infidelity, the abuse, and the drugs were a bad nightmare for me. When he was home and high I got high with him, in hopes that he would love me back. I finally got the guts to call it quits after getting pregnant with my 2nd daughter. But I was in search for love.
I still never took the whole opportunity to go after God even when he was right in my face. I started going to church with a friend who never seemed to give up on me. But at that time I felt like the love of a real man would serve me better. I was determined to figure it out on my own. Big mistake.
Soon I was pregnant with a 3rd and hopeful. When she was about a yr old I decided it was time to go back to church. It was then that I realized you have to search for God and he will show you exactly who he is. But I was miserable. And boy I had no idea what was about to happen. I wont go into detail but God went back on the back burner and life went haywire. Depressed and feeling alone I just stopped God. But truth be told I always knew he was still there. I struggled with things in my past feeling as though God would never send me to heaven.
During all this I had the opportunity to go to the D.C area. We had some old family friends there and their daughter was getting married. They are pastors. One day the pastor sat me down and said I have a word from God. He read Psalms 149:4. He translated it to me that God doesnt care what it is that I think will never be forgiven for. He has forgiven me. WOW!!! Powerful. For a few weeks I was on air. But I slowly in what I feel was the lowest point in my life, fell back into the arms of the devil.
I finally got to move forward with my life and with that came a new attitude. Things slowly started looking better for me, even when most of what was happening around me wasnt going well. I started praying and reading my bible. I started inserting church a little more and then finally after getting married and having another baby, I got back into church. I have learned that its not about religion and rituals. Its about a relationship with God, its about devouring the word for yourself. I am soaking it in. I am striving to learn all I can. I am hungry to learn more each day. And tomorrow I will share my thoughts, confusions, joys, and triumphs.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Lost Weight
Exciting news here. Conviently after stopping my birth control pill a week ago I lost 3 lbs!!! I have been super busy as usual, got 1 walk in and yoga yesterday. I have been eating healthy still. And bam 3 lbs! I have been eating healthy and all this since May and lost 4 lbs the whole time. I certainly blame it on the bcp!!!
Anyways, on our friendly competition we are finally moving in the right direction. ALL of us. Last week was a little bumming seeing the guys drop weight. But this week us ladies are finally in it!!! Definitely a little more motivation. I'm excited.
When I have time to exercise the following is what I like to do to get moving.
running/jogging/walking
pilates
yoga
Denise Austin indoor walk
Jillian Michaels 30 day shred
zumba
random dancing with baby and kids
wii fit
just dance (wii game)
bollywood dance (fit tv)
I am open to all other ideas. I want to try Golds Gym on the wii. I have to keep it interesting or I lose interest.
Things here are crazy. I have been extremely busy. With cheer, soccer, school, housework, house loan stuff, and baby my world has gone completely upside down. And we still have missed practices, house is still messy, and things don't feel like they are moving. How does that happen? I guess that's life! But I did knock a few things off my to do list this week and that's always great.
As far as the house buying process goes, we will find out in December if we are qualified for the loan we are trying to get. Long time, I know. I am trying to keep my hopes up about my house but also trying to tell myself its okay if we lose it there will be something better! That, my friends, is hard. I am worried about my credit also. Its not where I think it should be and we are trying to take care of that hopefully they see that effort. My husband is the one that works and he has a good score so hopefully that is enough.
We experienced some feelings towards the whole credit thing this week that kind of hurt. I think it effected my husband a little more. Years ago, when I was younger, I was offered 2 credit cards. I told myself they would be used for important things only. But, they got the best of me. I couldn't pay them down. Being young and feeling like I would never be able to pay it off, I filed bankruptcy. I now regret it. I didn't know anything about fixing my credit. I had no good advice around me. And I feel as though I stole from them now. But truthfully as broke as I have been in the past I don't know how I would have payed them off. I don't live beyond my means. I don't buy extras. I vowed never to do that again. I bought a car and have faithfully paid on it. Minus 2 mths when I wasn't sure how I was going to feed myself I was late on my payments. I had moved to Texas and payed off everything but my car. I moved into an apartment. And both jobs cut my hours. I couldn't find a decent paying job to save my life. And of course, when I didn't have insurance, I got sick and had to go to the hospital. That has happened to me twice, by the way!!!
Before I met him, my husband was single and made good money for a single guy. He spent his money however he wanted and his credit wasn't perfect but not to bad. He doesn't like people judging you on anything but who you are inside. He didn't care if he was late on a payment. He knew he was going to pay it. He never thought it would catch up to him. I know it sounds silly but I guess I understand him more than most would/do.
Then we got together. We had 2 incomes and a load of bills. And he had credit cards *gasp*. I had vowed not to have any. So my goal was to pay them off. I slowly got to paying off small things that we had. And I started working on paying down the credit cards. His credit has jumped up 150 points in 1 year!!! Mine is NOT where I need or want it to be. But, it's very obvious that we have been working on our credit. We are good people. It makes me sad that because of other peoples failures, because of greediness, that we are now judged by a number! If its obvious that I am "fixing" my credit then why be mean?
Currently we are a 1 income family. I have mastered our budget. I pay on time and pay down on our credit. Every chance I get I pay off the things on my credit. These things didn't get there from me being irresponsible, it got there because I got sick, and because of the failing economy and lack of work offered. I did not put too much on my plate. I was cautious. I am a good person. The way some talk to you when they read your score, is ridiculous. Mine has also come up 150 points this year and its just under 600 and in about a month and a half it will be higher. I don't understand this way of thinking I guess. And others are ruining it for those of us who do try.
So, my continued goals are to drop the weight number and heighten the credit score....life can be confusing sometimes! But without the bumps life might get boring. So, I will keep doing what I know is right!!!
Anyways, on our friendly competition we are finally moving in the right direction. ALL of us. Last week was a little bumming seeing the guys drop weight. But this week us ladies are finally in it!!! Definitely a little more motivation. I'm excited.
When I have time to exercise the following is what I like to do to get moving.
running/jogging/walking
pilates
yoga
Denise Austin indoor walk
Jillian Michaels 30 day shred
zumba
random dancing with baby and kids
wii fit
just dance (wii game)
bollywood dance (fit tv)
I am open to all other ideas. I want to try Golds Gym on the wii. I have to keep it interesting or I lose interest.
Things here are crazy. I have been extremely busy. With cheer, soccer, school, housework, house loan stuff, and baby my world has gone completely upside down. And we still have missed practices, house is still messy, and things don't feel like they are moving. How does that happen? I guess that's life! But I did knock a few things off my to do list this week and that's always great.
As far as the house buying process goes, we will find out in December if we are qualified for the loan we are trying to get. Long time, I know. I am trying to keep my hopes up about my house but also trying to tell myself its okay if we lose it there will be something better! That, my friends, is hard. I am worried about my credit also. Its not where I think it should be and we are trying to take care of that hopefully they see that effort. My husband is the one that works and he has a good score so hopefully that is enough.
We experienced some feelings towards the whole credit thing this week that kind of hurt. I think it effected my husband a little more. Years ago, when I was younger, I was offered 2 credit cards. I told myself they would be used for important things only. But, they got the best of me. I couldn't pay them down. Being young and feeling like I would never be able to pay it off, I filed bankruptcy. I now regret it. I didn't know anything about fixing my credit. I had no good advice around me. And I feel as though I stole from them now. But truthfully as broke as I have been in the past I don't know how I would have payed them off. I don't live beyond my means. I don't buy extras. I vowed never to do that again. I bought a car and have faithfully paid on it. Minus 2 mths when I wasn't sure how I was going to feed myself I was late on my payments. I had moved to Texas and payed off everything but my car. I moved into an apartment. And both jobs cut my hours. I couldn't find a decent paying job to save my life. And of course, when I didn't have insurance, I got sick and had to go to the hospital. That has happened to me twice, by the way!!!
Before I met him, my husband was single and made good money for a single guy. He spent his money however he wanted and his credit wasn't perfect but not to bad. He doesn't like people judging you on anything but who you are inside. He didn't care if he was late on a payment. He knew he was going to pay it. He never thought it would catch up to him. I know it sounds silly but I guess I understand him more than most would/do.
Then we got together. We had 2 incomes and a load of bills. And he had credit cards *gasp*. I had vowed not to have any. So my goal was to pay them off. I slowly got to paying off small things that we had. And I started working on paying down the credit cards. His credit has jumped up 150 points in 1 year!!! Mine is NOT where I need or want it to be. But, it's very obvious that we have been working on our credit. We are good people. It makes me sad that because of other peoples failures, because of greediness, that we are now judged by a number! If its obvious that I am "fixing" my credit then why be mean?
Currently we are a 1 income family. I have mastered our budget. I pay on time and pay down on our credit. Every chance I get I pay off the things on my credit. These things didn't get there from me being irresponsible, it got there because I got sick, and because of the failing economy and lack of work offered. I did not put too much on my plate. I was cautious. I am a good person. The way some talk to you when they read your score, is ridiculous. Mine has also come up 150 points this year and its just under 600 and in about a month and a half it will be higher. I don't understand this way of thinking I guess. And others are ruining it for those of us who do try.
So, my continued goals are to drop the weight number and heighten the credit score....life can be confusing sometimes! But without the bumps life might get boring. So, I will keep doing what I know is right!!!
Friday, October 1, 2010
So...
I haven't lost or gained anything this week. I say this is because I was not exercising. I am finding it harder and harder to get up early. And during the day there is pretty much no good time to get moving. I did walk, yesterday, to the school. But the good news is my husband is getting on board even more than I imagined. I thought he said yes to a friendly competition just to make me happy. After he lost 2 lbs just not eating junk he really jumped on board. Yesterday he suggested we go to bed earlier and he will get up with me and exercize!!! He also asked me to pack him a healthy lunch everyday! Trust me this is big. He works an awful lot and stays busy from 8 am till about 8 pm. All week he worried about turning his work into exercise. =) I am proud of him and excited that he is willing to help motivate me a little more.
On some more exciting news. We started the process for buying a home this week. Oh man am I far beyond excited. My BIL is an awesome realtor. I am glad we have someone we trust helping us out! We did things a little backwards and already found a home we LOVE. We saw a couple and then BAM! This house is perfect for us. It has 5 beds. Its 3000 sq feet and a super great price. Its 1.28 acres also. Its far enough out to be country but close enough I don't have to drive an hour to get to town. Its closer to Joe's work and still in a good school district. It also has an unfinished basement with tons of possibility.
The scariest part of this whole thing is the loan we are going for takes a while. =/ So I'm nervous I will get my heart broken. But this loan will save us a lot of money. Anyways, I am just excited to get the process done. I am so glad we finally get to own. I will be doing lots of praying. Praying that we do get the right house, praying that we are patient and understanding throughout this process. And thanking God for my BIL who is truly great at what he does!
I have been talking about some of my goals and haven't written them all but thought I would share some now.
1. Buy a house.
2. Buy a calendar and put all friends and families birthdays in it and send a card to everyone next year!
3. Write a thank you card once a week for a year(at least).
4. Not yell for 7 days.
5. Do something sweet for my husband everyday for a week.
6. Exercise 5 days of the week for a month.
7. Make 1 craft a month for a year.
8. Set boundaries with certain people.
9. Have alone time with each kid once a week for a month.
10. Read my bible everyday.
This is a tenth of my goals. The ones that say for a week, for a month, for a year, my goal with those is to make a habit for a lifetime. I will share more soon and mark them off as they get done.
On some more exciting news. We started the process for buying a home this week. Oh man am I far beyond excited. My BIL is an awesome realtor. I am glad we have someone we trust helping us out! We did things a little backwards and already found a home we LOVE. We saw a couple and then BAM! This house is perfect for us. It has 5 beds. Its 3000 sq feet and a super great price. Its 1.28 acres also. Its far enough out to be country but close enough I don't have to drive an hour to get to town. Its closer to Joe's work and still in a good school district. It also has an unfinished basement with tons of possibility.
The scariest part of this whole thing is the loan we are going for takes a while. =/ So I'm nervous I will get my heart broken. But this loan will save us a lot of money. Anyways, I am just excited to get the process done. I am so glad we finally get to own. I will be doing lots of praying. Praying that we do get the right house, praying that we are patient and understanding throughout this process. And thanking God for my BIL who is truly great at what he does!
I have been talking about some of my goals and haven't written them all but thought I would share some now.
1. Buy a house.
2. Buy a calendar and put all friends and families birthdays in it and send a card to everyone next year!
3. Write a thank you card once a week for a year(at least).
4. Not yell for 7 days.
5. Do something sweet for my husband everyday for a week.
6. Exercise 5 days of the week for a month.
7. Make 1 craft a month for a year.
8. Set boundaries with certain people.
9. Have alone time with each kid once a week for a month.
10. Read my bible everyday.
This is a tenth of my goals. The ones that say for a week, for a month, for a year, my goal with those is to make a habit for a lifetime. I will share more soon and mark them off as they get done.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Exciting New Competition!
So this is Friday's post I never posted it...
I have done my weigh in drum roll please.......146.9!!! Yay! I love it. So 21.9 lbs to go to reach my goal weight. I finally convinced my hubby to be in a little fun competition. To lose 20 lbs by Dec.6, which is his birthday. I am feeling great today already. Woke up at 6am and did Zumba, thanks to an awesome friend!!! I am now planning how I am going to stay moving and what I should eat for the next 10.5 weeks! This is gonna be awesome and I WILL beat my husband!!! He is really good at competition and usually wins. But he needs to move over because the weight loss champion is here. =)
This is what I am adding to it...
Well my good friend and her husband have joined our competition. I think it helps motivate me to try harder so this is going to be fun. I do have one concern. I always feels great at 125 lbs and my goal is to get back there. But, I am afraid my hips spread again with this last baby. I guess we will see when I get closer to my goal weight. If so I might have to stop because I would look pretty silly being a toothpick with big hips..no really, I have super skinny legs and thighs so that would be funny!
Here's a bit of a problem I am having with motivations these days. It is raining which means I have less energy and feel a little on the down side. I don't do well in the winter. I have been attempting to get up at 6am and exercising. That is happening less and less everyday. I already struggle as a morning person and now with the weather. I am not sure how to get more motivation for that. I can not ask my husband because he works long hard hours. Asking him to loose an extra hour of sleep would just be mean.
I have been busy doing my never ending to do list. Just the odds and ends that need to get done. Go to goodwill, drop off dishes at SIL's house, etc. I already have a busload of housework and children to manage. I am feeling pretty crazy here. But I can say that things around here are a lot more mellow. There is more of a routine and that's great. The baby is in a transition of not being a baby to being a toddler. I try working on words and sounds and body parts but he doesn't seem to be learning most of it. Even though I know he is learning most of it and keeping it, it is hard to figure out what to do with him!
My week consists of housecleaning, grocery shopping, cheer practice, counseling appt, and knocking at least 5 things off my list. What does your week look like?
I have done my weigh in drum roll please.......146.9!!! Yay! I love it. So 21.9 lbs to go to reach my goal weight. I finally convinced my hubby to be in a little fun competition. To lose 20 lbs by Dec.6, which is his birthday. I am feeling great today already. Woke up at 6am and did Zumba, thanks to an awesome friend!!! I am now planning how I am going to stay moving and what I should eat for the next 10.5 weeks! This is gonna be awesome and I WILL beat my husband!!! He is really good at competition and usually wins. But he needs to move over because the weight loss champion is here. =)
This is what I am adding to it...
Well my good friend and her husband have joined our competition. I think it helps motivate me to try harder so this is going to be fun. I do have one concern. I always feels great at 125 lbs and my goal is to get back there. But, I am afraid my hips spread again with this last baby. I guess we will see when I get closer to my goal weight. If so I might have to stop because I would look pretty silly being a toothpick with big hips..no really, I have super skinny legs and thighs so that would be funny!
Here's a bit of a problem I am having with motivations these days. It is raining which means I have less energy and feel a little on the down side. I don't do well in the winter. I have been attempting to get up at 6am and exercising. That is happening less and less everyday. I already struggle as a morning person and now with the weather. I am not sure how to get more motivation for that. I can not ask my husband because he works long hard hours. Asking him to loose an extra hour of sleep would just be mean.
I have been busy doing my never ending to do list. Just the odds and ends that need to get done. Go to goodwill, drop off dishes at SIL's house, etc. I already have a busload of housework and children to manage. I am feeling pretty crazy here. But I can say that things around here are a lot more mellow. There is more of a routine and that's great. The baby is in a transition of not being a baby to being a toddler. I try working on words and sounds and body parts but he doesn't seem to be learning most of it. Even though I know he is learning most of it and keeping it, it is hard to figure out what to do with him!
My week consists of housecleaning, grocery shopping, cheer practice, counseling appt, and knocking at least 5 things off my list. What does your week look like?
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Day 35, or is it day 36?
I am not counting these days to healthy, I guess. I am feeling good about how far I come. Some days I am hard on myself about not "being better" at it. But I am proud. I successfully turn down the sweets my husband offers me...except last night ;). I ate a very small piece of pie that he bought. I felt I deserved it. I continue to use veggies in anything I can, in any way I can. hehe. I have been successful at getting all the older kids to like something healthy TWICE this week!!! This is a huge accomplishment because I have 2 extremely picky eaters and one who just doesn't like "new" stuff. I have been food processing veggies and putting them in turkey meatloaf, spaghetti sauce and anything else that looks like it could "hide" something. We ate Israeli cous cous with an assortment of healthy "things" in it last night and they loved it. It definitely put a smile on my face.
My biggest struggle is to stay moving. I get stuck on the computer or just want to sit down after doing chores..how do I pry myself up??? It is a self-discipline thing, I know, I know. And getting up at 6 is working about half the week. Sometimes my alarm doesn't go off and sometimes I press snooze and then off and never get up. I knew this would be hard for me. I have always been a night owl and far from a morning person. I would do these things during nap except that it's finally me time and I really want to read the bible and pray during that time and I don't feel that should be given up for a little exercise.
So, progress is slow but I feel I am giving a good effort. And very very slowly I am seeing a drop in weight.
My biggest struggle is to stay moving. I get stuck on the computer or just want to sit down after doing chores..how do I pry myself up??? It is a self-discipline thing, I know, I know. And getting up at 6 is working about half the week. Sometimes my alarm doesn't go off and sometimes I press snooze and then off and never get up. I knew this would be hard for me. I have always been a night owl and far from a morning person. I would do these things during nap except that it's finally me time and I really want to read the bible and pray during that time and I don't feel that should be given up for a little exercise.
So, progress is slow but I feel I am giving a good effort. And very very slowly I am seeing a drop in weight.
Friday, September 17, 2010
100 days to Healthy
It's Friday, which means you get to know how much I weigh. 147.2 was the number I saw. Not really too much progress but good motivation to just keep going. I ran today at 6am and it was great. I think I ran a little over a mile and walked back. As I get more and more comfortable I will run a tad more. There is definetly motivation out there at 6am. Every other person out there was super fit! And trust me at 6 am there are lots of others!
A goal for the next week is to see if I can keep moving in those pockets of time where you have 10 min to do nothing. I want to do jumping jacks or pushups or crunches, etc. Lets see how much that helps. My biggest dillemma is eating dinner. I cant make super super healthy dinner for my family. I have far to many picky eaters that I dont want to torture every night. I have remained at a smaller portion size and pile on more of the veggies than anyone else. I really shouldn't be hard on myself.
So, time to get moving with the kiddos so have a fabulous rest of your day.
A goal for the next week is to see if I can keep moving in those pockets of time where you have 10 min to do nothing. I want to do jumping jacks or pushups or crunches, etc. Lets see how much that helps. My biggest dillemma is eating dinner. I cant make super super healthy dinner for my family. I have far to many picky eaters that I dont want to torture every night. I have remained at a smaller portion size and pile on more of the veggies than anyone else. I really shouldn't be hard on myself.
So, time to get moving with the kiddos so have a fabulous rest of your day.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Scheduling and Balancing Time
Now that school has started back up I can have a real schedule! Not that I couldn't before but now there is less chance of a spontaneous event. In the summer I must keep the children busy to not create conflict. So, when someone invites us last minute...we are there.
I have always been bad at writing a list or a schedule and sticking to it. But I desperately need a schedule or I get crazy, haha. So, now it is time to reinvent my schedule that changes every year due to life situations. This year I am not working so that is fantastic and I see lots getting done. But on the other hand budget is tighter. This means not going a lot of places and shopping is to a minimum. Which is fine by me. The challenge is getting the house clean and taking care of a 1 yr old boy at the same time! I have been getting up early to exercise and usually most mornings so far by 8:30 dishes are put away, kitchen is cleaned up for the most part, a load of laundry is washing(or drying if I am really on top of things), and 2 kids are off to school. That makes me proud! Its the little things right? =)
Now is when I get confused. I like to scrub out one room a day. Do the dusting, vacuuming or mopping, put things in order, etc. For a while I was doing that effectively in the summer because I had others eyes. Now I have only the 1 yr old and 5 yr old. Most rooms don't take too long but the 5 yr old gets bored playing with the 1 yr old or she just wants me to do a million things with her....and how can you not do a million things with your own kid?! Sometimes things don't get done and then I feel guilty later. I know, its silly. I also like to jump on the computer for a little while sometime between 8am and 11 am. But then again, I feel guilty that I am not spending more time with the kiddos.
11am is now lunch time. The 5 yr old needs to eat before getting on the bus. We all eat lunch and then she is off. I have been trying to get the little one down to nap at 12 every day. This is a challenge some days. But for the most part, it works. Get this, on Monday, Thursday and Friday now, I will have ME time. Of course being a mommy, this means I get to shower without interruption!! I will also use this time to read the bible and pray because that really is my favorite time of day to do that. I feel I get more out of it. I am most awake at this time. And if baby takes a long enough nap I might get other things done. I am truly excited about this.
Once 3 pm hits, craziness begins. The oldest comes home and I am off to pick up the other 2 girls. I waste about 30 min of my day doing this to avoid the conflicts on the bus. When we get home I am busy helping with homework, finding all the things for dinner, monitoring everything going on. Its crazy. Then depending on what is going on we have dinner between 4 and 6. Some days we have cheer and soccer. Ick. Those days I feel things don't get done all the way. Then we run around and cart people where they need to go. Then when we get back its shower and bath time, followed by bedtimes and finally get to relax.(Only if the kitchen is cleaned up). Its a lot more mellow on days when there is nothing but still crazy enough haha.
The weekends are always different. Of course Sunday mornings we have church until about 12:45. Then lunch naps and errands. Saturday I get a chance to clean my room. It gets neglected most of the time because I can't leave the baby or all of the kids alone. Whether it be fights or just having to help with things.
Being a mother is a great job. I love what I do and wouldn't change it. Some days I don't get to sit down at all and that's okay. The memories my children have of me being there for them is what matters in the end. I never thought I would be where I am at today, with a crazy schedule and a full house. But I wouldn't change a thing!
Time to go listen to music and watch the baby play air violin, and yes he knows he is doing it. It is hilarious!
I have always been bad at writing a list or a schedule and sticking to it. But I desperately need a schedule or I get crazy, haha. So, now it is time to reinvent my schedule that changes every year due to life situations. This year I am not working so that is fantastic and I see lots getting done. But on the other hand budget is tighter. This means not going a lot of places and shopping is to a minimum. Which is fine by me. The challenge is getting the house clean and taking care of a 1 yr old boy at the same time! I have been getting up early to exercise and usually most mornings so far by 8:30 dishes are put away, kitchen is cleaned up for the most part, a load of laundry is washing(or drying if I am really on top of things), and 2 kids are off to school. That makes me proud! Its the little things right? =)
Now is when I get confused. I like to scrub out one room a day. Do the dusting, vacuuming or mopping, put things in order, etc. For a while I was doing that effectively in the summer because I had others eyes. Now I have only the 1 yr old and 5 yr old. Most rooms don't take too long but the 5 yr old gets bored playing with the 1 yr old or she just wants me to do a million things with her....and how can you not do a million things with your own kid?! Sometimes things don't get done and then I feel guilty later. I know, its silly. I also like to jump on the computer for a little while sometime between 8am and 11 am. But then again, I feel guilty that I am not spending more time with the kiddos.
11am is now lunch time. The 5 yr old needs to eat before getting on the bus. We all eat lunch and then she is off. I have been trying to get the little one down to nap at 12 every day. This is a challenge some days. But for the most part, it works. Get this, on Monday, Thursday and Friday now, I will have ME time. Of course being a mommy, this means I get to shower without interruption!! I will also use this time to read the bible and pray because that really is my favorite time of day to do that. I feel I get more out of it. I am most awake at this time. And if baby takes a long enough nap I might get other things done. I am truly excited about this.
Once 3 pm hits, craziness begins. The oldest comes home and I am off to pick up the other 2 girls. I waste about 30 min of my day doing this to avoid the conflicts on the bus. When we get home I am busy helping with homework, finding all the things for dinner, monitoring everything going on. Its crazy. Then depending on what is going on we have dinner between 4 and 6. Some days we have cheer and soccer. Ick. Those days I feel things don't get done all the way. Then we run around and cart people where they need to go. Then when we get back its shower and bath time, followed by bedtimes and finally get to relax.(Only if the kitchen is cleaned up). Its a lot more mellow on days when there is nothing but still crazy enough haha.
The weekends are always different. Of course Sunday mornings we have church until about 12:45. Then lunch naps and errands. Saturday I get a chance to clean my room. It gets neglected most of the time because I can't leave the baby or all of the kids alone. Whether it be fights or just having to help with things.
Being a mother is a great job. I love what I do and wouldn't change it. Some days I don't get to sit down at all and that's okay. The memories my children have of me being there for them is what matters in the end. I never thought I would be where I am at today, with a crazy schedule and a full house. But I wouldn't change a thing!
Time to go listen to music and watch the baby play air violin, and yes he knows he is doing it. It is hilarious!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
I'm back in the real world
I really felt as if I was gone. Last week started with a horrible loss of self control. One of my children is more difficult than others. And with the stress of thinking of everything going on and with her actions, I lost it. It's not something I am proud of but that's how last week began. So with lack of sleep, an early morning counseling appt., and school beginning, my mind left!
I have a daughter in 8th grade! I am sad about the fact that she will indeed be in high school next year. Do you have any idea how terrifying that is?! My high school years were anything but pleasant. I had no direction and just basically followed those in my neighborhood...bad idea! So, when it comes to her I worry. She probably gets too much direction from me. No, she is a good kid and has a small group of decent friends. She had a first this week, her first game to cheer at! Her all time dream was to be a cheerleader. I had no idea they had leagues for younger girls!!! Her best friend happened to be a cheerleader and so this year she got to chase her dream. I am truly proud, she has put her whole heart into this and given it her all. This could be her only chance and she knows it.
Then there is the 4th grader. She is an athlete, a book reader, and a strong-willed child (that's what they call them nowadays). School started great for her. She got into a class with some great kids. And I love her teacher already. Her 10th birthday was this week also. She got to invite a few friends over for the party and she had a blast. Being the center of attention is a thrill for her and she got to do it for 4 hours! She was definitely spoiled this birthday. She also got to show off her athletic abilities. Her first soccer game was Saturday and they won 5 to 2 or something like that! They did great as a team. I was so proud that she got in there and didn't give up when she fell (twice).
My baby girl had a first this week also. She had her first day of Kindergarten. How exciting but oh so sad. She never went to preschool or daycare (ok, a brief period when she was 1). She is extremely shy and just wants to be with me most of the time. You should have seen her, soooo excited. Then when the kids lined up and the teacher started walking to the room, she panicked and wouldn't budge. Fortunately the parents got to go in the first day. But she did great in the end. I wasn't expecting it to be hard for me to let her go. My attitude going in was... I have done this before, it will be easy. But when your daughter is clinging to you and doesn't want you leaving, that thought changes! Then on Friday was her first day riding the bus. I kept thinking of how I was going to get her on the bus without clinging or crying. She hopped right on!!!! And then she waved!!! I teared up. My baby girl has now entered a world of influence and learning. I am feeling bittersweet about all this.
Then comes my boy. He is now 1 yr old! He is almost walking too. His birthday was great. But he was terrified of the birthday song. I think he was simply overwhelmed with people and the fact that it was loud. He is starting to talk more. He says Mama, Dada, sissa(sister), issy(fishy), tat(cat), hayee(haylee), and his new one....i see you!!! Yes, we play peekaboo all the time and that's what he gained from it. I melted when he said this one. He loves to sing and now dance. The dancing part is hilarious, if you can imagine a baby sitting and dancing. He quit singing our beloved "la la lullaby la la lullaby" song :(. But he does still sing. And he is now giving opened mouth kisses =P.
So, lots of firsts and a crazy week. But it was great. I am proud of my babies. They grow up too quickly. But I am looking forward to the challenges and all the firsts they have left.
I have a daughter in 8th grade! I am sad about the fact that she will indeed be in high school next year. Do you have any idea how terrifying that is?! My high school years were anything but pleasant. I had no direction and just basically followed those in my neighborhood...bad idea! So, when it comes to her I worry. She probably gets too much direction from me. No, she is a good kid and has a small group of decent friends. She had a first this week, her first game to cheer at! Her all time dream was to be a cheerleader. I had no idea they had leagues for younger girls!!! Her best friend happened to be a cheerleader and so this year she got to chase her dream. I am truly proud, she has put her whole heart into this and given it her all. This could be her only chance and she knows it.
Then there is the 4th grader. She is an athlete, a book reader, and a strong-willed child (that's what they call them nowadays). School started great for her. She got into a class with some great kids. And I love her teacher already. Her 10th birthday was this week also. She got to invite a few friends over for the party and she had a blast. Being the center of attention is a thrill for her and she got to do it for 4 hours! She was definitely spoiled this birthday. She also got to show off her athletic abilities. Her first soccer game was Saturday and they won 5 to 2 or something like that! They did great as a team. I was so proud that she got in there and didn't give up when she fell (twice).
My baby girl had a first this week also. She had her first day of Kindergarten. How exciting but oh so sad. She never went to preschool or daycare (ok, a brief period when she was 1). She is extremely shy and just wants to be with me most of the time. You should have seen her, soooo excited. Then when the kids lined up and the teacher started walking to the room, she panicked and wouldn't budge. Fortunately the parents got to go in the first day. But she did great in the end. I wasn't expecting it to be hard for me to let her go. My attitude going in was... I have done this before, it will be easy. But when your daughter is clinging to you and doesn't want you leaving, that thought changes! Then on Friday was her first day riding the bus. I kept thinking of how I was going to get her on the bus without clinging or crying. She hopped right on!!!! And then she waved!!! I teared up. My baby girl has now entered a world of influence and learning. I am feeling bittersweet about all this.
Then comes my boy. He is now 1 yr old! He is almost walking too. His birthday was great. But he was terrified of the birthday song. I think he was simply overwhelmed with people and the fact that it was loud. He is starting to talk more. He says Mama, Dada, sissa(sister), issy(fishy), tat(cat), hayee(haylee), and his new one....i see you!!! Yes, we play peekaboo all the time and that's what he gained from it. I melted when he said this one. He loves to sing and now dance. The dancing part is hilarious, if you can imagine a baby sitting and dancing. He quit singing our beloved "la la lullaby la la lullaby" song :(. But he does still sing. And he is now giving opened mouth kisses =P.
So, lots of firsts and a crazy week. But it was great. I am proud of my babies. They grow up too quickly. But I am looking forward to the challenges and all the firsts they have left.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Ugh...
So I have been super super busy this week. But as I promised I weighed myself today. Not a happy number. 150.3..this is creeping on me. So, I ate pretty well, but no excersize. But I have been so stressed and busy you think it wouldn't have mattered. It could be many things and why am I stressing over 2 lbs. haha. Life is starting to even out again and I am back on the train!!! Sorry such a short note today but have to finish a few things and jump in the shower!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
82 days left
Feeling awesome here. My clothes were a tad loose yesterday. I haven't lost a huge amount of weight yet but I think working out has tightened my body. Haha, that sounds funny. I am craving a workout today even though I gave myself the day off. So after I drop off the kids to go camping with Poppa and Nana...guess what I'm doing? =D
I am struggling today though. I am craving chocolate. BIG time. I am a chocolate lover and just can't imagine life without it. Years ago when I lost some weight I would buy a dark chocolate bar. I would eat one square a night as a treat. But I am afraid if I buy one today I will eat the whole thing. I really don't want that guilty feeling. Besides, that 2 lbs. I have lost is great incentive to keep going towards my goal.
Funny how even just 2 lbs. can be a motivator. I read another blog, "Simply Bloom" she put it in great perspective for me today. Think of that weight in butter!!! That's right 2 whole lbs of butter that I have lost! =D
I am struggling today though. I am craving chocolate. BIG time. I am a chocolate lover and just can't imagine life without it. Years ago when I lost some weight I would buy a dark chocolate bar. I would eat one square a night as a treat. But I am afraid if I buy one today I will eat the whole thing. I really don't want that guilty feeling. Besides, that 2 lbs. I have lost is great incentive to keep going towards my goal.
Funny how even just 2 lbs. can be a motivator. I read another blog, "Simply Bloom" she put it in great perspective for me today. Think of that weight in butter!!! That's right 2 whole lbs of butter that I have lost! =D
Friday, September 3, 2010
Weight and Thanks
Well its Friday and like I promised here is my weight. 148.3. This is on my bathroom scale. I am hoping to get to 125. With these #'s I need to lose 23.3 lbs! I can do it. And since my week of cleaning out my cabinets is almost over...healthy food here I come! I have gotten up at 6am 3 or 4 times this week. I have done a workout everyday. My muscles feel it and that feels good. I feel great, a little tired though. Saturdays will be my day off but I will probably still try and do some sort of moving around. Don't want to catch the lazy bug!
So, I talked a bit about doing 101 goals and I started writing them and then stopped. I guess that makes goal #1 to finish my goals. =)
I would like to leave you with some things I am thankful for. I have been feeling negative this week so I am trying to focus on the positive. These are in no particular order and I have many more thanks, these are just a few.
1. The sun. I desperately need sun or I get depressed and super tired.
2. My husband. He works hard for us. I have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom because of this. He puts up with so much at work and I don't know how he does it!
3. Coffee. I am not sure I really need it because I am usually still tired after drinking it. But, the flavor and how it makes me pretend to be more awake haha.
4. Used baby clothes. Silly, I know, but I have barely had to buy anything for my son and he has grown so quickly I cant imagine how much money we have saved.
5. The Internet. I have found great recipes that will save us money in the long run. I have gotten great ideas for many things in my life.
6. A bed. I can't imagine not having one and I know there are people without one. Mine is not even that great I just couldn't imagine sleeping anywhere else.
7. My small group of friends. I don't like drama and that's what big groups of people have always brought me.
8. My van. Without it I would be stuck at home. It fits a huge amount of things or people and I never have to worry about room.
9. My kids. Even though there are days I feel like escaping, I still appreciate them. They keep me young. Without them I would not have the challenge of being as responsible as I am with them. And my life is never boring with them in it!
10. My church. I was worried I would not find a place I could feel completely comfortable at. They have great opportunities, awesome pastoral staff, it's extremely friendly there and I could not ask for more. God knew exactly what I needed and fulfilled my needs.
So, I talked a bit about doing 101 goals and I started writing them and then stopped. I guess that makes goal #1 to finish my goals. =)
I would like to leave you with some things I am thankful for. I have been feeling negative this week so I am trying to focus on the positive. These are in no particular order and I have many more thanks, these are just a few.
1. The sun. I desperately need sun or I get depressed and super tired.
2. My husband. He works hard for us. I have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom because of this. He puts up with so much at work and I don't know how he does it!
3. Coffee. I am not sure I really need it because I am usually still tired after drinking it. But, the flavor and how it makes me pretend to be more awake haha.
4. Used baby clothes. Silly, I know, but I have barely had to buy anything for my son and he has grown so quickly I cant imagine how much money we have saved.
5. The Internet. I have found great recipes that will save us money in the long run. I have gotten great ideas for many things in my life.
6. A bed. I can't imagine not having one and I know there are people without one. Mine is not even that great I just couldn't imagine sleeping anywhere else.
7. My small group of friends. I don't like drama and that's what big groups of people have always brought me.
8. My van. Without it I would be stuck at home. It fits a huge amount of things or people and I never have to worry about room.
9. My kids. Even though there are days I feel like escaping, I still appreciate them. They keep me young. Without them I would not have the challenge of being as responsible as I am with them. And my life is never boring with them in it!
10. My church. I was worried I would not find a place I could feel completely comfortable at. They have great opportunities, awesome pastoral staff, it's extremely friendly there and I could not ask for more. God knew exactly what I needed and fulfilled my needs.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
The Calming Effect
Yesterday, I had a much needed massage. My husband has been talking about doing this for weeks. Finally, we got to go. It felt sooooo good! I have had one before this and have no idea why I did not make it a regular thing. I have always been tense in my shoulders. Here is the beautiful mistake I made before going. I got up at 6 am and did a good workout with my Jillian Michaels dvd. Then did breakfast and cleaned the house. I then did "Bollywood Dance" on FitTV. That was fabulous! I felt awesome. I wanted to workout all day. But I have not done the dvd in a while and my muscles are sore now...should've waited for that massage till today, haha. It did help though. And the best part of the massage my husband decided we become members so that we get half off pricing. =) My next choice in massage will be deep tissue.
On another note, I am glad that the baby is a tolerable teether. The first 2 teeth came in without me even knowing he was teething! The second 2 he did have a fever for a day but no crying. I believe he is getting his 1 year molars. His gums are swollen he has buckets of drool and looks like he feels "eh" parts of the day. He has put EVERYTHING in his mouth since his hands could move that direction. So, that is not a telltale sign for us.
I truly feel like I am getting healthier. I feel better when I exercise now not the tired feeling after the first few days. This weeks dinner menu hasn't been great simply because I was cooking up all the extra stuff in the cabinets and fridge so that I can clean everything out and start new. I can not just waste anything. But I have stuck to no eating after 8:30. I have eaten a super healthy breakfast everyday. I have managed to try and eat healthy lunches and snacks as well. I have my coffee in the morning and water the rest of the day. Sometimes, I sneak in a glass of superfood juice from Odwalla! =) I have decided that on non-rainy days I will walk Hanna to school and pick her up. If its raining I will let her ride the bus or pick her up. That is my goal for this whole school year!!! I am excited. It will be about a 30 min walk to and from in the morning and in the afternoon. On top of a work out, I think I see a few lbs falling off all ready! On Friday I am going to start weighing myself and posting the lbs on here, kind of as a motivational tool. If I have to share the number with people then I sure want it to lower, right?! As far as eating goes. I am still in search of delicious recipes to try out on my family. Over the last month or two I have managed to find a few good ones. I think I am going to try one or two vegetarian meals a week also. When I do use meat I do try to use turkey or chicken only. My inlaws give us beef and sausage sometimes and who can argue with free food? I feel good about my healthiness. Yeah, I am not perfect but I am trying and giving it my all for sure now!
On another note, I am glad that the baby is a tolerable teether. The first 2 teeth came in without me even knowing he was teething! The second 2 he did have a fever for a day but no crying. I believe he is getting his 1 year molars. His gums are swollen he has buckets of drool and looks like he feels "eh" parts of the day. He has put EVERYTHING in his mouth since his hands could move that direction. So, that is not a telltale sign for us.
I truly feel like I am getting healthier. I feel better when I exercise now not the tired feeling after the first few days. This weeks dinner menu hasn't been great simply because I was cooking up all the extra stuff in the cabinets and fridge so that I can clean everything out and start new. I can not just waste anything. But I have stuck to no eating after 8:30. I have eaten a super healthy breakfast everyday. I have managed to try and eat healthy lunches and snacks as well. I have my coffee in the morning and water the rest of the day. Sometimes, I sneak in a glass of superfood juice from Odwalla! =) I have decided that on non-rainy days I will walk Hanna to school and pick her up. If its raining I will let her ride the bus or pick her up. That is my goal for this whole school year!!! I am excited. It will be about a 30 min walk to and from in the morning and in the afternoon. On top of a work out, I think I see a few lbs falling off all ready! On Friday I am going to start weighing myself and posting the lbs on here, kind of as a motivational tool. If I have to share the number with people then I sure want it to lower, right?! As far as eating goes. I am still in search of delicious recipes to try out on my family. Over the last month or two I have managed to find a few good ones. I think I am going to try one or two vegetarian meals a week also. When I do use meat I do try to use turkey or chicken only. My inlaws give us beef and sausage sometimes and who can argue with free food? I feel good about my healthiness. Yeah, I am not perfect but I am trying and giving it my all for sure now!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Frazzled
I feel frazzled. I have too much on my mind. I am the master of thinking of great ideas. Unfortunately, I never know how to manage them or make them happen effectively. Then I let them sit there and I get frustrated when they don't happen. Sometimes its lack of money, lack of time, or just simply not knowing how to play them out.
I am also ready for school to start. I always wished I could homeschool, by the end of the summer I know why I couldn't. Its sad to me but I am simply one of those who was not loaded with a ton of patience. No matter how much I try or pray about it.
Scheduling has also been an issue. I guess I am a weird person but doing certain things at certain times doesn't work well with me. I can only clean in the morning without panicking. I can only pay bills without people around. Trust me that's hard with 4 kids. I don't have much of a set schedule during the summer because I want to do things when they pop up, to keep us busy.
Also, having my husband work crazy long hours does not help the situation. Summer is busy at the restaurant and he puts in days where sometimes I may only get to see him for an hour at the end of the day. I need and desperately want him around. He is a much calmer person than me and also can see a situation differently sometimes.
I wish I had more patience.
I am also ready for school to start. I always wished I could homeschool, by the end of the summer I know why I couldn't. Its sad to me but I am simply one of those who was not loaded with a ton of patience. No matter how much I try or pray about it.
Scheduling has also been an issue. I guess I am a weird person but doing certain things at certain times doesn't work well with me. I can only clean in the morning without panicking. I can only pay bills without people around. Trust me that's hard with 4 kids. I don't have much of a set schedule during the summer because I want to do things when they pop up, to keep us busy.
Also, having my husband work crazy long hours does not help the situation. Summer is busy at the restaurant and he puts in days where sometimes I may only get to see him for an hour at the end of the day. I need and desperately want him around. He is a much calmer person than me and also can see a situation differently sometimes.
I wish I had more patience.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Day 11
I GOT UP AT 6 AM!!! And I did 30 min of pilates! I am so happy and I feel so good. Lets hope I can wake up this early everyday. I will try my hardest. I will definetly pray about it everyday. Gonna do a little playground later today. Healthy feels so good!
Friday, August 27, 2010
Maintaining
Well, I have managed to maintain the 1.5 lb loss. It has been hard to get excersize in. But I am proud of myself. Personally, I know I could try harder.
I did attempt to wake up early this week. This is a hard one for me. I am a night owl and never have been a morning person. These last couple years, I have longed to be a morning person. Since the baby came I have been forced to wake up earlier. But since he has been in his own room, he has taken to sleeping in most days. I set my alarm 2 days ago for 6am and it did not go off. Last night I reset it. Then I had no sleep and when it went off I went back to sleep. Shame on me.
I did get to go on a fast walk the other day. I did 3 miles. I also decided when there is not time for excersize because you have kids...just dance. I turned up the music on the party channel and we rocked out. The baby loved it so much he was cracking up. When we would put him down he would cry. This will probably become a daily thing for us. It lifts your spirits anyways!
I really want to be healthier and excersize. I do not want to be a super model. I just want to feel good and be a reasonable size. I really need to ask God for help now with persistance, strength, and guidance in this.
I think its important to look good for your husband as well. It says in the bible that you should take care of yourself. It keeps the romance a little hotter too. I am lucky though, my husband knows that I try and understands what 4 kids can do to a body.
So my attempt at being healthy for 100 days is slowly working but needs improvement.
I did attempt to wake up early this week. This is a hard one for me. I am a night owl and never have been a morning person. These last couple years, I have longed to be a morning person. Since the baby came I have been forced to wake up earlier. But since he has been in his own room, he has taken to sleeping in most days. I set my alarm 2 days ago for 6am and it did not go off. Last night I reset it. Then I had no sleep and when it went off I went back to sleep. Shame on me.
I did get to go on a fast walk the other day. I did 3 miles. I also decided when there is not time for excersize because you have kids...just dance. I turned up the music on the party channel and we rocked out. The baby loved it so much he was cracking up. When we would put him down he would cry. This will probably become a daily thing for us. It lifts your spirits anyways!
I really want to be healthier and excersize. I do not want to be a super model. I just want to feel good and be a reasonable size. I really need to ask God for help now with persistance, strength, and guidance in this.
I think its important to look good for your husband as well. It says in the bible that you should take care of yourself. It keeps the romance a little hotter too. I am lucky though, my husband knows that I try and understands what 4 kids can do to a body.
So my attempt at being healthy for 100 days is slowly working but needs improvement.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Alcoholism
Have you been affected by alcoholism in any way? I have, it surrounds me. My grandparents, my uncles and my father are, or have been, active alcoholics.
My grandmother has been attending AA meetings since I was 2 yrs old. And she goes to 4 meetings a week or something crazy like that. She started her recovering process after years of physically fighting with my grandfather and trying to get him help. I am proud of her for spending so much time dedicating herself to a change. After decades of drinking, my grandpa also quit. But just about 5 yrs before he passed away. My SIL is also a strong woman. She almost lost her marriage and children, was literally falling apart, and she is now a recovering alcoholic. She now helps others and encourages them. She recently started taking classes to become a counselor to help those who have addiction struggles. It is so great to see the good side of what alcoholism can change you to be.
I struggle with alcoholism myself. It is truly hereditary. I had heard that but thought I didnt have a problem. The frist time I drank was at the young age of 14. I lived in a neighborhood where all the kids were doing it. Drugs, sex, and alcohol...really. I wanted to try this "fun" stuff. I undoubtedly loved it. But I didnt drink all the time...not right away at least. The older I got the more I drank. I had my first daughter at 16 and I still drank when I could. Of course, I thought it was all for fun. After I turned 21 and I was a single mother of 2, I used the excuse that I deserved me time once a week. So I went out and drank once a week. To make a long story short, It got to the point where I would black out everytime I drank. I hated not knowing what I really did and relying on others to tell me. It took a long time but I slowly learned my cut off point. Then I stopped drinking all the time and kept it for occasional practices only. There are days when all I think about is a drink. It makes me realize that even though I have not used this alcoholism to the point where I hurt others, even though I can control it better than most, I am still an alcoholic. It is a struggle I think I will always face. I guess being surrounded by alcoholism in its many forms, I will not allow it to take over me!
Then there are the moments that hurt you. Surrounding me are people I consider close loved ones. But they drink and then they say or do things that change your relationship with them. If you tell them they either play victim, deny it, or make you feel like the guilty one. What they are saying or doing can ruin families and they dont seem to understand that. My relationships with those that have hurt me will forever be changed. I may be able to forgive them, because as a Christ follower I should and I will. I may be able to pray for them or be nice to them. But it will never be the same. The trust will never be there. I really should pray about that trust but in some situations that trust can never be regained. Unless it is solved between both parties and "fixed" whole heartedly with both parties. Unfortunately in most cases, unless the person(s) get help for their alcoholism, The problem will remain.
How have you been affected? Are you an alcoholic? How do you deal with it?
My grandmother has been attending AA meetings since I was 2 yrs old. And she goes to 4 meetings a week or something crazy like that. She started her recovering process after years of physically fighting with my grandfather and trying to get him help. I am proud of her for spending so much time dedicating herself to a change. After decades of drinking, my grandpa also quit. But just about 5 yrs before he passed away. My SIL is also a strong woman. She almost lost her marriage and children, was literally falling apart, and she is now a recovering alcoholic. She now helps others and encourages them. She recently started taking classes to become a counselor to help those who have addiction struggles. It is so great to see the good side of what alcoholism can change you to be.
I struggle with alcoholism myself. It is truly hereditary. I had heard that but thought I didnt have a problem. The frist time I drank was at the young age of 14. I lived in a neighborhood where all the kids were doing it. Drugs, sex, and alcohol...really. I wanted to try this "fun" stuff. I undoubtedly loved it. But I didnt drink all the time...not right away at least. The older I got the more I drank. I had my first daughter at 16 and I still drank when I could. Of course, I thought it was all for fun. After I turned 21 and I was a single mother of 2, I used the excuse that I deserved me time once a week. So I went out and drank once a week. To make a long story short, It got to the point where I would black out everytime I drank. I hated not knowing what I really did and relying on others to tell me. It took a long time but I slowly learned my cut off point. Then I stopped drinking all the time and kept it for occasional practices only. There are days when all I think about is a drink. It makes me realize that even though I have not used this alcoholism to the point where I hurt others, even though I can control it better than most, I am still an alcoholic. It is a struggle I think I will always face. I guess being surrounded by alcoholism in its many forms, I will not allow it to take over me!
Then there are the moments that hurt you. Surrounding me are people I consider close loved ones. But they drink and then they say or do things that change your relationship with them. If you tell them they either play victim, deny it, or make you feel like the guilty one. What they are saying or doing can ruin families and they dont seem to understand that. My relationships with those that have hurt me will forever be changed. I may be able to forgive them, because as a Christ follower I should and I will. I may be able to pray for them or be nice to them. But it will never be the same. The trust will never be there. I really should pray about that trust but in some situations that trust can never be regained. Unless it is solved between both parties and "fixed" whole heartedly with both parties. Unfortunately in most cases, unless the person(s) get help for their alcoholism, The problem will remain.
How have you been affected? Are you an alcoholic? How do you deal with it?
Monday, August 23, 2010
Big Families
I love big families. I came from a small one. Sure I have a huge extended family but my dad was in the Army. I have one sister who was born 10 yrs after I was. When I was little I would play pretend all by myself. My most favorite way to play was to pretend I had 15 brothers and sisters. Sure, I have a great relationship with my sister now, always have. But we are different points in our lives so I can not always talk with her about everything. We also live 2300 miles apart. Let me tell you how lucky I got though. My dad remarried a few years back and I scored 2 brothers and a sister (who I no longer claim). With those brothers eventually came SIL's and nieces and nephews. My former new sister also ended up bringing 6 kids of her own. Then I married. I scored big time. My childhood fantasies have come true. He had 2 brothers and 2 sisters who were all married and had kiddos. Thats 6 brothers, 8 sisters (minus 1) total. My husbands family is pretty close. Every event, small or big, turns out huge in this life. Even my BIL's wifes family attends these events....makes it that much bigger. My inlaws did an awesome job of raising them all too. I enjoy all their company. Oh, did I mention my Mom got remarried too and I got a brother and sister out of that...we really arent close though so it kind of doesnt count. I am truly blessed to be a part of this big family. We all work together to make sure everyone is okay. Oh yeah, and the farms and gardens....make for free produce occasionally, free meat occasionally, and free eggs! My new desire to can food can also be met. My MIL has the supplies and knows how to use em. Yippy!!! I am sure I prayed for a big family when I was little because God sure answered. He answers the strangest prayers for me, probably because I used to be one of those "God show me a sign" kind of people. He definetly has and I thank him everyday. Christmas can be tough though, 19 nieces and nephews and 2 great nieces. My sister hasn't even started with kids yet...
On my healthy kick. I have managed to eat decently. The last few days have been crazy busy so trying to do anything extra was a little tough. Dinner last night was pretty good though. I made sweet potatoes, grapes, and left over corn bread. I only ate a tiny piece of my cornbread. I also made ground meat to go on top of the potato(my husband likes meat with every meal) I ate a little bit of it but made sure only to eat a bite or two of meat. Not that I am staying away from meat completely, but I would like to keep red meats at a minimum. Today, I hope to get some excersize in as well. And tomorrow My husband is going to let me take H to soccer alone so that I can jog for a whole hr!!!! I havent gained back that 1 lb either.
Well, I have a to do list a mile long so I better get on that.
On my healthy kick. I have managed to eat decently. The last few days have been crazy busy so trying to do anything extra was a little tough. Dinner last night was pretty good though. I made sweet potatoes, grapes, and left over corn bread. I only ate a tiny piece of my cornbread. I also made ground meat to go on top of the potato(my husband likes meat with every meal) I ate a little bit of it but made sure only to eat a bite or two of meat. Not that I am staying away from meat completely, but I would like to keep red meats at a minimum. Today, I hope to get some excersize in as well. And tomorrow My husband is going to let me take H to soccer alone so that I can jog for a whole hr!!!! I havent gained back that 1 lb either.
Well, I have a to do list a mile long so I better get on that.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Failure
I have been writing about all the great goals I have and being healthy and such. Now I must write about my failures of those things... : ( Yes, today was great. Had a cross country date with a great friend to see Eat, Pray, Love. Wonderful! We even got to chat on the phone. Which is rare because we are both mothers to several children and have busy lives. The kids were pretty well-behaved also. It is almost 8:30 and I am done eating for the night. But I failed way too much today. For starters I forgot to eat before going to the movie so I ate nachos and cheese with coke. The positive side of that was I got to see a great movie and with my daughter. I then went home and made 3 batches of cookies. I licked a spoon or two and had several cookies, thankfully not that many. The positive side is that I didnt eat too many and they are for a bake sale at church. The money goes to help a Haiti missions trip. Because I dont eat too much sugar already my mouth feels disgusting!!! So for dinner we ordered pizza. Usually, we get our pizza at Papa Murphys. It tastes pretty good and has pretty fresh toppings. Our pizza came from Domino's tonight....bleck. It was horrible horrible horrible! I did not eat much of it. I now feel unhealthy. But there is always tomorrow!!! I just despise failure and today I feel like I failed. But I will start tomorrow as a new day and put today far far away! Except for the the movie and chat! =)
Day 3 and visitors!!!
Wow, I suddenly better get my writing butt in gear. I had 2 comments yesterday which means someone is reading my blog haha. I have to learn to keep myself from going all over the place and actually make sense of what I am writing.
Last night was a bit frustrating. My goal was to walk or jog at the track when Hanna was playing soccer. That did not happen successfully. I had the stroller, I had the running shoes on, and I had a 5 yr old who would complaion and stop every 2 minutes. She is attached to me by the hip most times so when I told her to sit in the grass and wait for me...she freaked out. My husband did agree to stay home with the young ones next week so that I could do this by myself no distractions. Yay for awesome husbands!
Well, I did good yesterday on my eating. My new goal is to try and not eat after 8:30. That will be a challenge on soccer/cheer nights. I am excited to be a little healthier.
I would love to make realistic goals. I always make these huge goals for weightloss and then do them for a week and give up. I have finally admitted with 4 kids I will not have time to excersize everyday for 45 min. Really, it will never happen. I can barely get a shower in. If I tell myself I have to lose all 24 1bs that I want to lose...I wont do it. If I tell myself to just lose what you can, I will lose all 24 lbs. I can not cut all sugar out of my diet right away...I simply am not a cold turkey kind of gal. Oh yeah that reminds me, I started my 101 goals yesterday. Have a few and I might post them in a couple days. I am excited for that too.
I better get off here I have a movie to go to in a little while. Eat, Pray, Love. I cant wait. A date across country.
Last night was a bit frustrating. My goal was to walk or jog at the track when Hanna was playing soccer. That did not happen successfully. I had the stroller, I had the running shoes on, and I had a 5 yr old who would complaion and stop every 2 minutes. She is attached to me by the hip most times so when I told her to sit in the grass and wait for me...she freaked out. My husband did agree to stay home with the young ones next week so that I could do this by myself no distractions. Yay for awesome husbands!
Well, I did good yesterday on my eating. My new goal is to try and not eat after 8:30. That will be a challenge on soccer/cheer nights. I am excited to be a little healthier.
I would love to make realistic goals. I always make these huge goals for weightloss and then do them for a week and give up. I have finally admitted with 4 kids I will not have time to excersize everyday for 45 min. Really, it will never happen. I can barely get a shower in. If I tell myself I have to lose all 24 1bs that I want to lose...I wont do it. If I tell myself to just lose what you can, I will lose all 24 lbs. I can not cut all sugar out of my diet right away...I simply am not a cold turkey kind of gal. Oh yeah that reminds me, I started my 101 goals yesterday. Have a few and I might post them in a couple days. I am excited for that too.
I better get off here I have a movie to go to in a little while. Eat, Pray, Love. I cant wait. A date across country.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Day 2 of 100
So, I am excited. Most mornings I step on the scale and cringe...today I am the lowest weight I have been in about 7 mths!!! Now I should tell you about yesterdays attempt at being healthier. For starters in the last few weeks I have cut my portions back. I chose snacks without sugar. I drank mostly water minus one cup of coffee. But I do that most days. I have been making sure to eat lots of fruits and am still working on incorporating more veggies. I do eat about 1 serving a day. I also took a part walk part jog last night!!! Took me about 40 min. As a family we walked from cheer practice to the little convenience store...I got a water as a treat! Then I jogged back by myself. Some young kid even yelled out the window. I would love to think it was a cat call but it was more of a "I am gonna yell at the chick out the window to see if I freak her out" kind of yell. I have to be there for soccer practice tonight so I will jog and walk around the track. With dinner tonight I am subbing tomato sauce for tomato soup out of the can. I am using turkey meat instead of ground beef and it has lots of beans...yup, its chili! I am really inspired by my lowest number on the scale. Its so much encouragement. Well, I do not have much more to say so, have a healthy day! =)
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
long time...
Whew, it's been a long time since I've written anything. Since no one reads my blog then its just fine. I am going to use my blog as sort of a journal to keep myself motivated. I recently started reading a different blog and the writer is doing a 100 days to healthy type gig. I decided to join. Everyday I will try and do something to keep me healthy or to further my healthiness. Yesterday was day 1 but I am thinking that today should be day 1 since I did nothing different yesterday. Okay, I did think about what to do for this challenge...haha. Today I will make sure to check labels and not eat anything with high fructose corn syrup, sugars, or any other not so good for me ingredient. I will chart my progress in a notebook I have. Progress being weightloss and how I feel. I hope to lesson my dependency on caffeine, eat more veggies, and excersize more. I will also be writing 101 goals for myself. I will probably post them as I go. So, off I go to mommyland. Have a sunshiny day! =)
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