my sun

I said good-bye to my sun. Yes, it is mine. I love the sun. It is beautiful, it makes everything glow and shines so bright I can't help but smile. As I drove for three days it shined as if to say here is your last dose. It was gorgeous, the sunsets were perfect....even if directly into my eyes. As we passed into Oregon you could see the gloom ahead. I tried to fool myself by saying it was forest fires. I actually said good-bye. As best as I could I looked at it disappearing into the faint clouds leading to the mountains. After the mountains and just in time for sunset I got to see her one last time in all her orange glory. Surprisingly she showed up the next day in Washington as if to tease or to say I will be here once in a while. But a new sun shines in my life today. It will take her place I am afraid. This sun makes me laugh and smile and wonder how I lived without this sun before. Instead of one door closing and another opening I shall say "As one sun quits shining the new one has just begun". And it is bright and will fill my everyday with happiness. I am greatful that God knows what I need and has made sure that no mater where I am he will shine the sun on me in one way or another. November the 2nd is the day my sun really started shining and never in my life would I have thought that it would have been brighter than any other.

laziness

I dont know wha tto think about myself. It seems that everytime I have important things to do I get lazy. I dont like dealing with those things. I suddenly feel forced to do something and just try and hold back on doing it. Then one day I wake up and I ahve this great idea that I am going to do it in one day and then I cant because I have so much to do it is tiring and ridiculous. Someone please get me off my butt and force me. haha.
It is a great feeling when everything is done it is getting there that is the problem. I have to do everything important soon cause I have to start my new job next week and i will be working over 60 hrs everyweek again and not have time for much.
Sorry for rambling on...even though no one even knows I blog yet. haha.

gas

So I know this is a topic with everyone at least a few times a week but i must vent some of my thoughts on it. I try not to spend so much on gas but usually i have to go where I am going and no one else goes so I have to drive and spend my own gas. No big deal.

So my sister and me do a lot together. I absolutely love that!!! But there are times when we are going somewhere for her only and we take her car and she gets yelled at for taking her car. Or she is told no she can't take her car?! Why do I have to spend my own gas and money for all of her things? She is willing to spend her own gas to go so why can't she drive? I am a single mom working two jobs and making peanuts all the while and now I have to fork over an extra 20 dollars a month or more because they have a control issue.

I think they think that while they care about their money, I don't care about mine. Sure I dont mind taking turns driving with my sister. We do things together, so we should take turns. Its the fact that they dont really care and just want to control the situation. What an annoyance. Can someone tell them please Let her grow up! She is paying for the gas anyways.

Rain

So, how come for years I lived in a dreary rainy gray place and absolutely hated it? Now here I am in Texas where the rain is very rare and I am loving it today.

Maybe because it is needed more than ever. I really dont want to go into water restrictions. I heard you cant even take a shower on the days that you are on restriction. Ewwww! I could get away without a shower here and there because I just dont have bad b-o. But there are some people that I just dont want to smell.

Maybe I love how it looks and smells. The drops are big and loud, noticable. It is not drizzle. The smell is a smell that my whole life I have loved. All those years in Washington and I think you could only smell the rain in the spring. Definitly not everytime it rains though. The smell makes me think of spring. I cant even describe it but it is, by far, one of the best smells in the world!

It could also be that I can feel lazy today. There is a certain way everyone behaves when it rains. Everyone is tired and feeling drained. They seem forgetful. Grouchiness seems the norm. Today I feel that I can jsut sit around and be lazy. I have finished a book I was reading I have started this blog page. I have played card games with my kids. I have not showered and it is 2 pm. (Maybe it doesnt really matter that we have restrictions cause I didnt take a shower anyway. haha)

So, I am enjoying the rain and going to sit around for 10 more minutes or so before I shower so I can go and feed my hermit crabs. Yes, that is a whole other blog.